Parenting Coordination in High Conflict Disputes

    Conflict is inevitable and part of normal, everyday life.  In a mature relationship, conflict is addressed
    with mutual empathy, and the parties usually seek solutions with cooperation.  Neurologically, the
    cooperative system is operative.  Psychologically, the parties are operating as mature adults.

    However, when a conflict becomes protracted, the perception of intransigence may trigger other
    neurological reactions that are psychologically experienced as frustration, anger or fear, and the
    conflict escalates through a series of characteristic phases.

    First, the parties begin to fluctuate between cooperation and competition.  They may appreciate
    their common interests, but their self interest becomes more important.  Information becomes
    relevant only if it favors one’s own arguments.  At this stage, a party may want to escape the
    conflict, flee, or to take aggressive action, fight.  The participants begin to exhibit reduced maturity
    in their thinking and emotional responses.

    If the parties move to the next higher level of conflict, the fear reaction system begins to
    predominate.  Each party loses hope of a reasonable outcome, interaction becomes hostile, and
    attention is focused on replacing anxiety-producing discussions with aggressive or defensive actions.  
    The conflict becomes personalized and identified with the other party.  This phase is typically
    marked by the involvement of lawyers and the filing of lawsuits.  

    If the conflict continues to escalate, the parties’ emotions and behaviors continue to regress into
    less mature developmental levels.  Each may be aware of the other's perspective, but is not capable
    of considering the other's feelings.  Both sides feel out of control, and therefore control - - -
    controlling and being controlled - - - becomes their focus.  

    At this stage the dispute begins to fit the legal definition of “high conflict” situations described in the
    Texas Family Code as marked by an unusual degree of:
    (A)        repetitiously resorting to the adjudicative process;
    (B)        anger and distrust;
    (C)        difficulty in communicating … and cooperating…

    Texas Family Code §153.6051 provides for the use of parenting coordinators by divorced or
    separated parents who are engaged in high conflict situations.  The role of a parenting coordinator
    is to aide the parents in:
    •        Identifying areas of dispute
    •        Reducing misunderstanding
    •        Clarifying priorities
    •        Exploring possibilities for problem solving
    •        Understanding and implementing parenting plans
    •        Complying with Court Orders regarding conservatorship and possession
    •        Obtaining training regarding problem solving, conflict management, and parenting skills
    •        Settling disputes over parenting issues

    All communications between parents and a parenting coordinator are confidential.  A parenting
    coordinator must comply with the ethical guidelines for mediators as adopted by the Texas
    Supreme Court.
HUGHES & LEISSNER PLLC

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